…totally sucked. Big ones. I would easily put it in my top 5 worst films ever. The plot was paper-thin, the acting wasn’t much better, and I think I laughed more than anything else. I think watching the other people moving around the theater was more interesting than the movie itself.
And for like the first twenty minutes, the screen was messed up and it was “squashed.” To demonstrate, I shall use some lovely ASCII ART!!!111cos(0) (Erm… sorry, got a little carried away…)
Normally, the screen is like this:
Regular, widescreen, 16×9 picture.
Now, for the first twenty minutes or so, the screen appeared like so:
Now, you’ve gotta admit, that’s some high-quality ASCII art…. Hang on, lemme take in the beatuifulness that is the ASCII art…… (For some reason, it looked all weird when I posted the art, so I took screenshots in the editor, and posted them here.. but all that ASCII is hand-umm….typed, i guess, believe me.)
Allright, I’m good. So yeah…. the scren was really annoying, and it took you even more out of the experienc than you already were. So what’s the moral of the story for today kids? Don’t go wast you money on seeing An American Haunting. As someone said, “go spend your money on better entertainment, like getting a blowjob from a hooker with herpes.” ° Or something like that…
Yeah, it sucked that bad…. No pun intended, of course.
° Supposedly atrributed to Clent Stracner, though that’s yet to be confirmed