This past week, I was off for Spring Break. I, of course, wasn’t fortunate enough to go somewhere cool like to Cancun or someplace like that, so I stayed at home and did pretty much nothing. I did go to a friend’s house just about everyday during Spring Break, so it wasn’t too bad. I did some work on DOT geek some and it’s coming along quite nicely.
I also went and saw two movies over Spring Break, UltraViolet and The Hills Have Eyes. Now, judging from the title of this post, do you think I thought they were good? Of course they weren’t.
First, let’s start with UltraViolet. This movie was terrible. The story was barely there and what little plot there was just caused the movie to become even dumber. The movie starts out, “I live in a world you may not understand.” And boy does that pretty much sum up the movie. Not only do you not understand it, you don’t want to understand it. The special effects were horrible, as well. Though there were some semi-cool fight scenes, nearly all of the CG looked “fake.” The movie just sucked altogether. I went with a friend and his little brother and his friend, and halfway through the movie, his little brother and friend just got up and told us they were going to go play video games in the arcade because, “this movie sucks!” Earlier, my friend had said, “Hey, this is a pretty good deal. For $24, we pretty much rented the whole theater.” We could soon see why no one else was in the theater.
Nextup for humiliation, The Hills Have Eyes. This one wasn’t much better than Violet, but it was slightly. This one is your standard dessert horror film. The cast is stranded in a desert, and they come upon a gas station manned by the crazy old geezer. Said geezer is under control of the local “mutated-radioactive-zombie-things” that kill all who come through the desert. It was very predictable. Another of my friends who went and saw this movie with me pretty much figured out the plot after 30 minutes, and almost got who would be alive at the end of the movie correct. And for the first hour, the action is so slow. Like, there’s so much story trying to get you attached to the hopless people stranded in the desert, but you just end up thinking, “come on, we know they’re going ot die, just get it over with.” Then when the killing does ensue, it ensues the violence and gore levle of this movie is well in the 8-9 range (out of ten). And there’s blood. Copious amounts of blood. Overall, it was like, “I know this is supposed to be scary, but they try too hard, and it just ends up being dumb.”
I think it was best summed up when my friend who went to both these movies with me said, “I guess we just can’t pick good movies.” It’s not us, though, it’s Hollywood releasing these crap movies and the 29th sequel to a movie no one like in the first place.